I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
