i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
