just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
