Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
