im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
