their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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