Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
