rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
