Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
