Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
