Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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