why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
