Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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