"it" just moved
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
