I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
