How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
