does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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