All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
