im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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