Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
