Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
