i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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