I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
