Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
