peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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