Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
