we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
