2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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