I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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