So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize