So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Green mimosas i think yes
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
