I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
