Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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