i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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