The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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