It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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