hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
