What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
