i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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