So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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