Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize