I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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