No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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