her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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