her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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