WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
