Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
