I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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