Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize