I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize