when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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