your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
