Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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