she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
