I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
