i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
