it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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