If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
