don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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