I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
