i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
