i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
