Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
