Plan B is the new Plan A
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize