This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
