May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
