Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
