We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
